Archives for posts with tag: Montreal

When my father was younger, in college, he had a huge amount of plants and fish tanks. Like in a one bedroom apartment he had something like 17 fish tanks and more than a hundred plants. When he was telling me about this it was with no modest amount of pride. He would actually bring girls back to this strange amazonian forest like apartment, which I’m sure was humid and smelled somewhat like bog water.
He had his party tricks as we all do to try and woo a lady. He would show the girls how he had trained the fish. Granted I think this to be much more tactful then yelling helicopter and taking your penis and spinning it around as fast as you can. Anyhow, he would tap on the glass of the tank and the fish would rise to the top of the tank. This was impressive to him, which is justifiable, because fish really aren’t meant to be trainable, with their tiny brains (which is really all relative). I can’t imagine it really made their jaws or their pants drop.

Considering he could have his fish listen to him and I can hardly get this little bugger to come when I ask her to is one of those things that gets to me. You know how you expect to surpass those that taught you at some point, but teaching this little animal is one point where I fall short. Oh, I’ve read the books, and had a strange man stop me on the street and give me a card that says dog whisperer on it, but that’s about as far as it goes.

In my mind though so long as she doesn’t maul a child and shit in my bed I’m ok with her barking at an empty night when she’s in the back yard. I don’t have to go ahead and put her in a burlap sack…yet.

Here is a drawing of her I did for a painting I put up in a bar of her as the anti-christ.

So the anti-christ drawing didn’t save properly and I’ve already cut it up for the painting.. so if you had wanted to see it you’ll have to find out where in Montreal it’s hanging (hint: a bar on Crescent st.)

If you look up pictures of the anti-christ it is 4 pages of pictures of Obama…oh America.


I think I figured it out today, the question that has been plaguing me. The reason people become such dog people is that moment when you get home and they are just the happiest to see you ever. They may have torn up all your things, crapped every where or just slept all day, but they are still just so happy.

The dog owner on the other hand was probably much shittier all day. Might have spent a whole day doing something completely useless and monotonous, might have been a complete dick and made someone’s day shitty, hell you could’ve shanked a hobo just because you both happened to be in the same alleyway and just couldn’t shake the thought that it was either you or him.

Anyhow what it boils down to is that the animal doesn’t care if their owner is a total moron or hammered, as long as they are feeding it and not kicking it around all the time.

I think if the dogs new how goddamn boring the people are half the time they would be a lot less interested each time you open that door when you get home from work.

Today’s drawing is trying to illustrate the excitement my dog feels and how she is a goddamn star:

The goal is to draw the dog differently each day but I’m thinking soon I’ll have to be painting the little bugger to keep it interesting.


So I’ve been way too into the Christianity schtick lately. Apocalypse, antichrist, you know, that whole dig.

So last night after drinking too much wine I went into the corner store, asked the man where he kept his finest cured meats. He looked at me like I had two heads. I said nevermind, I’ll find the meat on my own.

I did find the meat.

It was one of the best meatsticks I have ever had, or its just been a while since I’ve had a meatstick, or I had just drank too much wine.

So in the street I started yelling about how if others wouldn’t eat this holy meatstick when the meatpocalypse came round they would not be saved.

They ate the meatstick too.

Sometimes I think that my dog enjoys meats and cheese just as much.

Did you know the depiction of the antichrist is a seven headed dog?